Today I had my first meeting with the therapist my dad arranged for me to see. Since yesterday I’d been so worked up with anxiety about it that an hour before I had to see her I felt lightheaded and like I was about to throw up. Would I get along with her? Will she be like other therapists I’ve had? Will she be arrogant enough to put words in mouth? Would I hate her? would she let me down?
When I met her I felt a lot better, she had a soothing voice (I’m very emotionally reactive to people’s tones) and her room smelled of incense (which I love) and was full of comfy furniture and beautiful art so already the atmosphere was good. She seemed to ask the right questions and I didn’t feel like she was just checking off criteria and I felt I was being talked to like an equal, not a child.
She told me she specialises with BPD and she studied it over in America where they seem to have a better understanding of the disorder than they do here in the UK. She wants to do EMDR and Neurofeedback with me which she said has helped other BPD sufferers recover. I think I’m going to have to do a lot of research into those as I’ve only heard about DBT which I’ve been offered by the community mental health team; well I hope at least one of them works for me. I really need something to work…
Thank you for reading,