Warning: This post goes into detail about suicidal ideation. And contains strong language.
The thoughts started a few days ago. The pain started yesterday.
I’m doubled over in pain as I walk. The doctors said it could be appendicitis as if my life couldn’t get anymore shit.
They’re not certain though and I’ve been given medication for the pain and a possible infection. I have to wait for a couple days and if it doesn’t get any better or it gets worse I’ll probably have to go to the hospital… fuck.
My brain isn’t helping by making me feel bad about my life and how meaningless it is and how everything I’ve done doesn’t matter because I still lost most of my friends, have no job and I’m always unsatisfied with myself.
I’ve caught myself thinking whatever is causing this pain, I hope it fucking kills me.
I’ve been so bored, restless and tired and now I’m in chronic physical pain as well. FML.