DepressionDiaries: Life After Death?

When I’m alone and the world around me is quiet I ponder my existence, question this thing we call reality and wonder what happens when we die. Deep stuff, right?

For my future novel which I may or may not actually write, I’ve been researching werewolves, vampires, ghosts, myths and legends. I was especially drawn to the concept of ghosts. In fact the thought of turning into a ghost has been the only thing helping me live really as suicide victims tend to roam the Earth as ghosts and I don’t want to stick around in this world any longer than I have to.

I was however still skeptical but also fascinated, I’ve been watching ghost adventures and have arranged to go on a ghost hunt for my birthday.However two days ago on the 4th I experienced something that convinced me ghosts are real. Don’t believe me? Let me explain…


The Foreboding tower of London

I was on a trip to the tower of London with my dad; I knew the place was supposedly haunted but I had forgotten most of the details of what I learned by then which makes what I experienced all the more creepy.

We went on a tour led by one of the beefeaters and the last place he took us was into one of the chapels (there were two) and when I walked in there, the atmosphere changed for me at least and I felt this sadness that wasn’t my own. I knew i was sad but it wasn’t how I feel sadness. Then I found out that Anne Boleyn, Lady Jane Grey, Catherine Howard, Jane Boleyn and Thomas Moore as well as many other people had been buried there after execution. Anne Boleyn’s ghost has been seen in that chapel according to research.


The Beefeater doing the tour


Next we went into the white tower where the beefeater had told us that the bodies of Edward IV and his brother Richard had been found on one of the wooden staircases but which one there were at least three that I can remember and the beefeater wasn’t specific. On the first staircase I didn’t feel anything however on the second one when I stood on one of the platforms I felt like the world was closing in on me, I felt that other times while there as well but this one was the most intense and I remember thinking they’re here before swiftly moving on. Afterwards when I arrived home from London I did some research and it turned out I wasn’t the only one having that strange feeling in the tower (bear in mind I’m not claustrophobic and I’ve never had that feeling before apart from in that tower)


A photo of the white tower taken by me

but that’s not all, on the second floor of the white tower (this is very hard to explain) I had a sort of out- of- body experience like I was still me but… not me at the same time. I had no interest in the exhibits and instead just walked the length of the room because I felt like that’s what I needed to do. Then I felt like something wanted me to go to one of the windows, so I did and looked out over the courtyard execution site. My dad came and I think he must have broke the connection of whatever I was connected to but I remember saying something like “I feel like Lady Jane Grey would have done this”. Later on I remembered that Lady Jane Grey watched her husband be executed on tower hill then looked over her execution site from a window in the white tower. Another thing was a ghost called “The white Lady” is said to haunt the  white tower, standing at one of the windows and waving at the children in the opposite building.

Other feelings I had were eerie and I felt it on my upper back as I walked close to rooms and old windows protected by glass panes. This happened twice once in the corner of a room where there seemed to be what looked like an old jail cell that must have been used by employees as there was a file in there but that’s when I felt it, that eerie feeling up my back where my instincts were telling me that I really shouldn’t be there. The other time was with what looked like an old window that was blocked up by stone wall I saw pipes just above the glass pane that was protecting it but again I had that feeling on my back that something just wasn’t right. I speculate that maybe the more hostile spirits were using those areas where no visitors really go (apart from me because I’m very nosy) to hide and that feeling I got was them telling me to go away. Maybe but I’m not sure.


Henry VIII Armour

I know I have mental health problems and I know I can sometimes hallucinate where I see or hear things that no else can but these are things that I’ve felt, very real feelings that can not be ignored.




Here are some links to the sites I used for reserach;


Tower Bridge



All photographs in this blog post were taken by me (sorry if they’re not very good)

NI2M 👻


6 thoughts on “DepressionDiaries: Life After Death?

  1. Rayne says:

    Someone once told me that when a person starts focusing on something, it almost becomes embedded in your subconscious, and suddenly you start finding more and more evidence that strengthens that connection. It’s almost like seeing a car you want, and suddenly you see more and more of them on the road. It’s a subconscious thing. I’ve also heard that when we’re so interested and connected to something, it has the same effect. That happened to me so many times before, but then once I realized it was all just my subconscious I started finding proof AGAINST what I had though was true. So it’s like the mind draws in what you focus on and believe, and once you start questioning it, your mind draws evidence against what you were convinced of. I’m not telling you that what you felt wasn’t real. Just thought you might find this interesting.

    Liked by 1 person

    • normalistoomainstream says:

      I did think that might be a thing. At the time I kept trying to tell myself I was probably imagining it but then I got that feeling of the world closing in which i had never experienced before and didn’t find out until later that the feeling was a thing to do with the tower and i thought… Well damn. I get the subconciou thing though it’s like when you take an interest in something your brain seems to notice more of stuff to do with it right? Where as it didn’t before because you weren’t interested. I do like to think there is more to life than meets the eye and i think ghosts and aliens even if they’re just stories that make our lives a lot more interestin

      Liked by 1 person

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