I love Christmas time, always have. The Christmas songs, the food, the excuse to buy loads of stuff and not feel guilty because it’s Christmas.
But this year things will be different. My nana has terminal cancer at age 80 so is far too fragile to cook Christmas dinner and will be too exhausted to have a big Christmas get together like we’ve done for years.
Instead my mum, sister and myself will have Christmas lunch/dinner at home and visit nan and grandad afterwards for a little while. No dad, no aunt and no cousins to pull a christmas cracker with.
We’re often so busy with our own lives that we don’t have time to all get together as a family apart from Christmas day and I love it when the whole family gets together.
Unfortunately this year it won’t be like that and while I do still look forward to Christmas a part of me feels sad that things have changed into this so quick. No one knows how long Nana can go on but everyone hopes she can have one last Christmas with us.
I’ve been doing fairly well though considering the circumstances. I’ve done quite a bit of shopping, decorating and making Christmas cards for people, although the depression struggle is still real, its good to have stuff to do so I don’t dwell in misery.
I suppose it could be worse at least I have a warm home and people to celebrate with; I feel bad for those who are alone or homeless at christmas. My prayers go out to those who find this time of year especially difficult 🙏