DepressionDiaries: PMS, Depression and BPD (God Help Me)

I’m overdue a period by ten days and it’s driving me crazy. It’s usually around this time that my testosterone level increases meaning more aggression. ugh I feel like just randomly beating some one up or hurting myself anything to just relieve this rage but I also want to cry and scream and throw a full on tantrum. Does anyone have any tips on dealing with this in a healthy way?

My depression also gets worse around this time meaning a lot of hopeless and negative thoughts such as “I’m nothing” “I have no purpose” “everything is difficult” “I wish I would just die already”

As if that’s not bad enough my symptoms of BPD amplify these bad moods and thoughts by at least 10x girls say how periods are such a nightmare and they are but the worst part of the menstrual cycle for me is the PMS especially when it lasts so long about one or two weeks before a period starts it supposed to be but for me the PMS phase can last up to a month, sometimes more.

Ugh I hope my period starts soon just so I can finally get it over with. Anyway if anyone has any tips on how to calm myself down at this time that would be very much appreciated.

NI2M ❤

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2 thoughts on “DepressionDiaries: PMS, Depression and BPD (God Help Me)

  1. Anna says:

    Hi, totally get what you’re saying…am coming up to ovulation stage at the moment, which is always a dangerous point since I don’t really ovulate so this phase can drag on for a good couple of weeks followed by a proper psycho episode the days before the period finally arrives, for which there is no such thing as a flag or something to indicate when it will actually be time….
    Long story short: today I was once more ready to leave my poor boyfriend of over 6 years and possibly even leave the country at the same time since my anxiety seems to be best buds with this hormonal mess I’m in and makes me feel so ill in my gut that the only best explanation for my reasoning mind is to leg it, as far away from it all as possible 🙂
    So, what advice can I give you? Well, today I did leg it, albeit just to the seafront, lovely stretch of empty pebble beach where I walked fast paced for a good two hours amidst glorious sunshine until I had calmed down a little. For me, this seems to help, even if I don’t feel like it at the moment. Equally I like to go somewhere green: fields, hills etc. Preferably where there are no people to attack 🙂
    Exercise is really helpful for me too, like cycling or running (the latter of which I’m no good at by the way but seems to work for others).
    So my lovely, we can laugh and cry together about the injustice of being blessed with periods and raging hormones. Depression is a bitch, but I hope you find a way that helps you feel better soon! 😉
    Best wishes
    Anna

    Liked by 1 person

    • normalistoomainstream says:

      Thank you so much Anna. The beach sounds lovely unfortunately I live in a town that is nowhere near a beach but I live next door to a small village with lots of fields and countryside. Admittedly I couldn’t be asked to leave my house recently but I think walking along the countryside would do me good so i will take my camera and go there as soon as I can (can’t go now it’s night time where I’m at and like you, I’d prefer not to risk being attacked) and it’s okay I can’t ride a bike at all but sure do love to run especially away from my problems lol 🙂 thanks again ❤ xx

      Liked by 1 person

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