DepressionDiaries: Friend Troubles (strong language)

Ugh why is it so hard to get along with people sometimes? I like someone and care about them but then they do something that pisses me off. I’ve tried to get past grudges because I know that’s a part of my BPD and give people more chances to redeem themselves but to them it must seem like another chance to do the same crap again.
A few weeks ago I’d asked a friend to be my model for my portrait photography project; Now this friend has let me down twice before where she would make plans with me then on the day do something else without telling me until it’s too late but I didn’t want to think of her as a bad friend as I have so few good friends now.

 She agreed to do the shoot and even seemed super excited about doing it. Then last Sunday I messaged her to ask her what times she would be free this week to do the shoot (bearing in mind I had two weeks until deadline day and now it’s even less than that) but guess what? She didn’t even reply!… Again. I waited for three days before messaging her saying “Well if you don’t want to do it, you could have just said” because, you know, that’s the respectful thing to do. Definetly the last time I rely on her.

Another friend got jealous of me hanging around with other people and got all freaked out about how happy I was with them. Clearly forgetting that I invited her to join us to meet them and be a part of our group; an invite she declined which I was cool with until she read my blog post “Like a family” and got upset with me.

So last weekend I arranged to meet up with the same people again and, so this jealous friend didn’t feel left out or freak out on me again,I invited her to join us a second time and for a second time she declined the invite using the EXACT SAME EXCUSE as she did the first time…

My days and people wonder why I prefer to be alone!

NI2M ❤

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