DepressionDiaries: Stay or Go?

6 weeks into my year at my new college. Honestly the struggle has been real to leave my bed, arrive on time and do my work to the best of my ability. 

My attendance is 91% while my punctuality is at 75%… not good. My mum says it’s because I’ve been out of education for six months so I need time to get used to the student  lifestyle again.

 While it has been a stuggle to get through this last 6 weeks I’ve managed to come out of it in moderately good condition. Which I am proud of myself for.

It’s done me good considering I would be doing absolutely sod all if I wasn’t in college so it keeps me busy but at times I think I would rather be at home working on a new idea for a book or just doing nothing but sleep.

Some days I really hate being at college other days I really enjoy being there. It’s hard to predict what kind of mood I would wake up in and what kind of mood I would go to bed at night in.

I’ve been enjoying our new project which is portrait photography I’ve been able to get a lot of ideas for my shots but at the same time my ideas have to be good enough for the people that mark my work.

The fact that I didn’t do well in the previous project has knocked my confidence as well. So question is do I leave the college or Stay there?

After some thinking I decided I would give myself two more chances. The Resubmission of my first assignment to show that I can take feedback and improve.

Then there is my new project which I can see myself doing better with than the previous project. So next week is the resub deadline then the week after is the portrait project deadline. 2 or 3 weeks that will help me decide my future. 

At the same time I need to raise my attendance and punctuality. Those things I’m not so sure I can sort out.

NI2M ❤


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