DepressionDiaries: I had a mental breakdown on holiday

My dad’s partner had pissed me off yet again by being her usual self and I spent the rest of the day trying to avoid her as much as I could although that was very difficult considering this was a “family holiday”

We went to this witch’s museum and because of my dad’s partner I took a keen interest in the curses. There was a souvenir shop and there I bought a voodoo doll pin cushion. I was so angry later I bought drawing pins from a post office.

When I was finally alone I jabbed the pin cushion in the “mouth” which is what I find most annoying about H. Her voice, the things she says basically so I stabbed the pin cushion and pretended I was finally shutting her up.

That evening I felt so ill from stress that I went to bed at about 7:30pm. My brother was upset with me because dad wouldn’t let them watch lord of the rings without me obviously because I am his daughter and came before my brother. It annoyed me how pathetic he was being.

So I got the fake voodoo doll and another pin stabbing it right into the stomach I’ll give you something to cry about you little shit I thought as I twisted the pin clockwise into the pin cushion’s “stomach” this time pretending it was my brother.

The twisted rage wouldn’t end. I could feel my lips twisting into a psychotic smile as I imagined their suffering. I could sense the hysteria flowing within me just waiting to burst out in maniacal laughter.

I texted my mum about what had happened and found myself repeating the words I hate them I hate them I hate them over and over again.

I also typed I want them to suffer as much as I do with them and I hope they burn in hell. This obviously got my mum worried but by morning the rage had mostly past over although I was slightly agitated I didn’t do anything damaging to myself or anyone else.

NI2M ❤

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