DepressionDiaries: Speaking Up

We were in the studio. Our teacher had left for a while thinking he could trust us to get on with the task he set. When he left people started moaning that they didn’t want to do anything and I got annoyed with them.

I have depression, I didn’t want to even leave my bed this morning and yet I am here so shut up and get on with the task so we can go to lunch on time. I spend most of my day looking forward to my next meal which is great considering before the ward I had very little interest in eating.

“C’mon guys let’s get on with it” I projected my voice so people would pay attention to me. Eventually the slackers got up and we worked together to model and take photos for eachother.

One of the girls, let’s call her Kiera, had decided to make fun of a picture of this other girl ( let’s make her Jody) which we all found funny but when Jody said we were upsetting her I had the decency to shut up. Whereas others (especially Kiera) didn’t stop and kept poking fun at Jody who I know is sensitive about her appearance even though I think she’s really pretty.

“Guys, this is basically bullying just leave it” I said to them and they calmed down slightly but didn’t delete the photo they were making fun of Jody for. It was my turn to use the camera next so I deleted it instead.

Later on another girl (there are a lot of girls in my class) had to model even though she didn’t want to but she understood everyone has to be the model at least once. Kiera decided to use her phone and take photos of the girl while she was modelling for the photographer. 

At first the girl humoured Kiera  but then had enough and started hiding her face as Kiera also seemed to be making fun of her playing on her sensitivity about her appearance. As if it wasn’t bad enough,what Kiera did next absolutely disgusted me. She set one of the pictures of the girl as the profile picture for a group chat that I’m not involved in, she showed it to me laughing her head off. 

I remember a couple of “friends” taking rather embarassing photos of me and how I caught them  sharing and laughing at them with eachother when I thought they had deleted them. I remember how angry and betrayed I felt so would hate to think how that girl would feel if she knew what Kiera was doing especially if I laughed with her.

“I actually think she looks quite cute” I stated. Which was true even though the girl was messing around in the shot she looked quite adorable…


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