DepressionDiaries: How Little I Care

I really did not want to go back to college today considering I had such a good weekend of watching Harry Potter films. 

I don’t really have interest in reality and everything just seems trivial (I mean it’s not like I have to fight the Dark Lord or something like that!)

I used to care so much even about little things such as what I should wear but over the last year how many damns I give have dwindled away.

I’ve lost friends, lost my will to live a few times and lost myself; sounds deep I know but the me roughly a year ago and the me now are like totally different people.

Once I was fun loving, caring and dedicated. Now I’m not often like that anymore although I can be enthusiastic it’s less often now. I’m just apathetic, cynical and distant from others.

I’m not sure  if it is all to do with my depression or maybe I’ve just been through so much crap that nothing surprises me as I’ve come to expect the worst.

On a more positive note, I took the bus home from college today. It may seem small but the plus side to not giving a damn is the ability to face my fear of public transport.

NI2M ❤


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