DepressionDiaries: Having Doubts

I doubt I’m going to make it a year at my college. I’m struggling already with only a few weeks into the year. Will it get any worse or any better?

I doubt my mental health is going to get much better until I can get some help from the psychology team which I’m still waiting on.

 I mean yeah sure I could just increase my dose of lamotrogine to 50mg to make my life easier but I don’t want to become too dependent on meds because it will make things more difficult in the long run.

My college is really good I just doubt I’m good enough for the college…

NI2M ❤


8 thoughts on “DepressionDiaries: Having Doubts

    • normalistoomainstream says:

      Okay thank you, I’ll give it time as i could just be overwhelmed by being in a new environment and having to meet deadlines I’ll give myself some more time to settle in but if my mood gets worse or doesn’t lift for a while I will go to my doctor. Thank you ❤


  1. Rayne says:

    I also never wanted to take medication. But I’m on Brintellix (an antidepressant) and Lamotrigine for the past few months. It’s a good combination, and it’s helped so much. I’m glad now that I started on it. If you’re struggling with depression and anxiety, meds can help. They’re not evil (like I always thought). It’s just another way to make things better. My sister is on an antidepressant too, and I’ve seen just how much it’s helped her. She’s able to cope with life, instead of keeping on missing work because she’s depressed. It’s also helped me actually get up in the morning to go to work. It’s not about becoming dependent on the meds, sometimes we need them in order to function.

    Liked by 2 people

    • normalistoomainstream says:

      Thanks Rayne that does give me some relief as I’m on the lowest dose of my medications and don’t really want to increase it although my psychiatrist said I could. I think I may have to take up their offer of increasing my lamotrogine as it does work but my depression can still be tough to handle especially in the mornings i am working hard at college though which is good. I don’t think I’m going to be getting therapy anytime soon so I’ll probably have to increase my less if i have to wait much longer I’ll give it time though could just be because I’m in a new place which is quite scary. Thanks for your comment it has helped very much 🙂 ❤


  2. Blooming Lily says:

    Being dependent on meds is different from being addicted to meds. Sometimes meds are the only thing that can physically change brain chemistry that is out of whack. I hope things get better for you… lots of love ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • normalistoomainstream says:

      Thank you Lily. I think I’m going to talk to my learning mentor about time management as that is what I’m struggling with. Finding time for coursework, friends, hobbies and sleep. If my mood does stay quite low for a couple more weeks I’ll see about getting my lamotrogine increased a bit. Much love to you ❤❤


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