DepressionDiaries: Temptation To Make Her Life Hell

You know you don’t like someone when you can’t bear to see them happy. I’m usually a nice person and try not to be cruel but sometimes the worst of me is brought out when I see someone I hold resentment towards happy.

I saw a former friend who I no longer talk to smiling and laughing with her friends. I felt a flash of anger why is that bitch happy when she treated me like shit?

I felt the temptation to make her life a living hell rise within me. I wanted to make her as miserable as she made me feel but then what would that do for me? 

I would be consumed by so much anger and bitterness that I will never be truly happy. Making her life hell would not make my life any better.

I sort of understand the mentality of a bully which worries me considering a bully is the last thing I want to be. This reflects badly on me as this situation and mentality highlights how insecure and disatisfied I am with my own life.

If I were truly content, that ex friend’s happiness wouldn’t matter to me and I probably wouldn’t even give her a second thought. There’s a long way to go before I become the person I want to be.

NI2M ❤

Song of the day:  Die In A Fire by The Living Tombstone

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2 thoughts on “DepressionDiaries: Temptation To Make Her Life Hell

  1. flyingcolours603 says:

    its okay to feel that way until you do not act on that but the thing is you do not want to hurt someone and yeah you have feelings of that person rotting but it does not mean anything bad its just means your upset at him or her for the way they treated you or hurt you you just want care love and everyone wants that in some form or another you will be okay i assure you a time will come it will not matter but accept the way your now do not pressure do not make yourself feel bad because this is what it is what can be done to move ahead and experiment with life 🙂 i am always here your not alone on this and your not the one having this feelings take care

    Liked by 1 person

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