You know you don’t like someone when you can’t bear to see them happy. I’m usually a nice person and try not to be cruel but sometimes the worst of me is brought out when I see someone I hold resentment towards happy.
I saw a former friend who I no longer talk to smiling and laughing with her friends. I felt a flash of anger why is that bitch happy when she treated me like shit?
I felt the temptation to make her life a living hell rise within me. I wanted to make her as miserable as she made me feel but then what would that do for me?
I would be consumed by so much anger and bitterness that I will never be truly happy. Making her life hell would not make my life any better.
I sort of understand the mentality of a bully which worries me considering a bully is the last thing I want to be. This reflects badly on me as this situation and mentality highlights how insecure and disatisfied I am with my own life.
If I were truly content, that ex friend’s happiness wouldn’t matter to me and I probably wouldn’t even give her a second thought. There’s a long way to go before I become the person I want to be.
Song of the day: Die In A Fire by The Living Tombstone