I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow. We’re probably going to review my medication. So I thought I would write down my thoughts on it here so I’d know what to say tomorrow.
I’m on 20mg of fluoxetine a day and I think the stuff is pretty weak for me because, even when my dose was increased to 40mg, I was still having pretty bad suicidal episodes and ended up in a psychiatric ward but it has helped soften the impact of my depression in a way that I felt slightly distant from my feelings and problems so if I hadn’t started taken it, I might have been a lot worse.
Alongside fluoxetine I take 25mg of lamotrogine which is a mood stabilizer mainly used to treat bipolar depression. It’s the closest they could get to treating my BPD mood swings medication wise.
The lamotrogine seems to slow down the process of my mood swings and, since I’ve been on them, I think my moods have more of a pattern. I’ve been monitoring my moods daily since June and from August (when I was prescribed lamotrogine) my moods have been less erratic than they were before that month.
A problem with the lamotrogine I have is that, at nights, I have very vivid dreams that seem so real! sometimes I can’t remember if I dreamt something or if it actually happened. I googled this and it seems I’m not the only one who has this problem with lamotrogine.
Melatonin is a hormone that tells your brain to calm down and prepare to sleep. However people like myself who have insomnia seem to have a lack of this hormone so I have to take it in tablet form.
It works better for me than a generic sleeping pill. It helps me feel tired enough to sleep with little or no disruption. You’d think that the vivid dreams from lamotrogine would wake me up prematurely but thanks to melatonin I stay asleep until the alarm goes off.
A downside is it makes me super drowsy and sometimes too calm so I don’t take it on nights when I have to be up early in the morning as the melatonin can make me even more tired and even less willing to get out of bed and do stuff than I would usually on an ealy morning.