DepressionDiaries: My Immortal

Why am I not over you?

It’s been months since we last spoke. So why is it when I see a picture of you on Facebook does my heart skip a beat and the feelings I had for you are back again.

I don’t know happened but not long after I met you I started liking you. Maybe it was because you were so nice to me but others didn’t understand you. We were both misunderstood by most people but somehow you made sense to me and I like to think I made sense to you as well.

Even though I wasn’t very good at talking to you and every time I did I seemed to make a fool of myself but you never said anything because you were so nice.

When I found out from a friend that you were already going out with someone, my heart sank but then I thought, as long as she makes you happy the way I never could then that’s okay.

You were the main reason I looked forward to class, the reason I got up in the mornings, even when I fell down with depression I kept going because I didn’t want to let you down and the thought of never seeing you again was devastating.

I wish we had been closer even if it was just as friends, it would have been nice to get to know you better…

but now we don’t talk, now you’re moving on to better things and being happy like you should. I’m making progress to but slower than you as I’m stuck missing you; imagining what could have been and remember the times we had together even if they were short.

If anyone hurt you I would fight for you.

If you cried I would hold you

If others turned against you I would stand by you…

but you already have someone who does all that and you don’t need me which hurts but it’s okay because I just want you to be happy even if you’re not with me.

 

NI2M ❤

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