DepressionDiaries: So. Much. Anxiety

It’s midnight over here in England. Recently I would usually be asleep by now but tonight there is so much going on in my head.

  1. I’ll be starting at my new college in a few days and I don’t know how it will go. Will it be worse than my previous college? Will I get bullied again?
  2. I will be doing a fundraiser for the charity MIND on Saturday and I’m anxious about what might happen. Will people want to buy my stuff? Will people try to steal from our table? Will I be able to handle the pressure?
  3. Another thing was I started worrying about my distant future, worrying I might end up homeless. I even asked my mum how people end up homeless so I would know how to avoid that fate
  4. Nightmares. A downside to not having disrupted sleep is that I can have really strange dreams which sometimes turn into nightmares, it makes me afraid to got to sleep sometimes.
  5. Itching, I’ve been getting rashes on my skin which doctors told me to look out for as it could be a side effect of the lamotrogine I’m on but mum says they’re just heat rashes but it doesn’t stop me stressing everytime I get an itch even if there is no rash.
  6. Anxiety. My anxiety is stressing me out because it makes me feel vulnerable to my fears and tormented by what I can’t fix at the moment. Splashing cold water on my face and reading a few chapters of my book have helped but I really don’t want to turn the light off and lie back in my bed again in case my brain starts kicking off.

Well, after that venting I do feel slightly calmer now, though I’m not sure I’m ready to go back to bed just yet. On a more cheerful note today (2nd September 2016) is the 6 month anniversary of Depression Diaries. I wrote the first ever entry on March 2nd 2016, I can’t believe how far it has come. I’ll probably write a post revolving around this anniversary but in case I don’t, Thank you for your support, without you reading Depression Diaries  it would not have come as far as it has.

Now then I think I may read some more of my book and then maybe settle down to sleep. Thank you for reading.

NI2M

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