DepressionDiaries: I Ran Away From Home

I called my dad to come pick me up. I needed to get out of the house. There was so much tension especially with mum’s friend around because I think that mum is chatting shit about me with her.

My dad takes me to a park and I talk to him about the whole situation. Dad seems to get it. I see now how like him I am. We both like people going straight to the point and lack the patience and attention span if people keep talking at us. 

Whereas my mum, she likes to talk, which can sometimes get her in trouble but this annoys me as like I said I lack patience and the attention span and soon want to move on to the next thing, we don’t dawdle basically, we tell it like it is.

I played on the WII with my brother who was getting upset because he was losing in our Mario Kart race. I thought If losing upsets you this much, try being me, the biggest loser in town if not the world.

After dinner I returned “home” mum and I hugged and things seemed okay but then she started talking about how I shut myself off and don’t seem to care when this situation actually started because they were both going on about me in a seemingly nasty way.

So yet again I was made to look like the bad guy like this is all about how I don’t show emotion when that’s because NO ONE CAN HANDLE MY HARSH MOODS BUT ME and even then it’s hard. 

Mum saying how I keep shutting her off but when I talk she keeps interjecting and talking about how she feels instead of just letting me talk. That’s why I blog because in everyday conversation. I. Keep. Getting. Interupted and people wonder why I’m quiet. What’s the point in talking when people refuse to listen?

Anyway. Mum and I have resolved the situation through texting. Yep, since neither of us are good at face to face conversations I decided to text her how I felt instead and mum could not interupt me as I kept typing and sending. Through text I managed to get all my feelings about the situation into the  open and mum was able to take it in. 

I’m not sure how things are going to be with me, mum and her friend from now on. Personally I feel awkward about going downstairs to see my mum. This is how I am in conflict. Frustration, tears, running away, coming back, venting and then awkwardness. Let’s hope it doesn’t stay this way for long.

Also thank you for supporting me over the last couple of days. Without you I think things would be a lot worse. It’s amazing how much blogging can help you and connect you to such awesome people. I hate fighting with my mum and when we don’t get along I feel very depressed and lonely but to those who have been commenting their support, thank you for making me feel less alone.

NI2M ❤


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