I decided to share my posts about being in a psychiatric ward on Facebook since I kind of didn’t bother with it for weeks and sort of left my timeline on a cliff-hanger (I said I was fed up with college and felt trapped)
Part one did super well, on the day that I published it I got the most views that I’ve had since I started blogging, most of the traffic coming from Facebook. Now keep in mind that I have roughly 100 friends on Facebook (not to brag because it basically means nothing) only 4 people got in touch with me (not counting those that knew about my mental state for quite some time, that would take the total up to about 12) and my view count was at least 50. It made me think, how many of those people who I knew in high school and college even care about me, did they just read my blog because they were being nosey and didn’t actually care? probably not but hey, I’ve got some good friends on my side they may be few but they are strong.
Some good has come from sharing my posts on Facebook, I’ve reunited with 2 friends who I hadn’t seen in years this week because they wanted to spend some time with me while I was on leave and had the time. A downside though is that friends and family know about my blog and can see it by clicking the links I’ve shared which kind of scares me considering this was my “safe space” to talk about my feelings and not worry about upsetting those closest to me but then it helps them understand what I’m going through and why I may behave a certain way (it’s also got them giving me compliments on my writing skills)
I don’t know, the matter of sharing such personal things on social media is complicated. On the one hand I want to keep people in the loop of my life instead of pushing them out by not letting them see my blog but on the other I don’t want them to know how messed up I really am. Ugh… conflict in my brain again. I think what I’ll have to do is compromise with myself, I will share only the posts that I am comfortable with sharing (probably not the really dark ones) and not bother sharing the more deep and personal ones. Yes, that seems fair. Friends and family will be able to scratch the surface of my mental state but not get too deep.
Song of the day: Back From The Dead by Skillet