Yesterday, after I arrived home from hospital and fell asleep, I woke up to the sound of the doorbell, at first I thought it was my mum’s friend who usually comes over but then I heard this deep, booming voice that resonated throughout the house and I thought That’s not my mum’s friend my next thought was It’s the crisis team. I managed to rouse myself from my bed in a dazed and confused state when I got downstairs my mum greeted me in the hallway, I was fearful and backed away from her slightly because I wasn’t sure what was real or not.
I was right it was two members of the crisis team, I can’t remember what they looked like but I remember I liked them because I wanted them to be the ones to work with me, unfortunately though the crisis team is large and the members work different shifts so there was no guarantee that they would be the ones to visit me again. They were both parents so they were able to empathise with my mum and comfort her as the meeting got rather distressing for her.
I was still under the influence of the diazepam I had earlier so I was still very out of it but my thoughts did seem to be a lot clearer with less conflict.My focus was awful though which is why I can’t remember a lot of stuff about the visit. I remember being very quiet and taking a while to completely open up to the crisis team.
Today another two members of the crisis team came to check up on me,not the same ones as yesterday though. My mood had been still low but slightly better than yesterday, I felt tearful and restless but better than yesterday. My focus had improved though I zoned out a couple of times when the assessors were speaking to me and forgot what I was talking about mid sentence. I was more chatty today and thought I was speaking too fast to be understood, the assessors said I was fine though, I felt uncomfortable with my emotions and our subject of conversation so I think I was trying to get our session over with as fast as possible.
I have another visit for tomorrow and will be seeing a crisis team doctor about my medication on Monday or Tuesday.