DepressionDiaries: What happened at the hospital

Okay, first of all, sorry if my previous post didn’t make much sense I was very confused and disorientated at the time. When I wrote it I was waiting for the psychiatrist to call me after I’d been to see a nurse to check my blood pressure, my weight and height. I remember being fearful and apprehensive at just about everything, not quite believing what was happening was real.

While I was in the waiting room I heard a song that I love and makes me feel empowered, I felt like it was playing especially for me as I needed to hear it. The song is called “fight song” and I’ve used it in a video to celebrate 100 followers it reminds me of how pleased I felt at the time.

It was about a two hour wait for the psychiatrist to be able to see me, she took me into a room with a sofa and an armchair, she sat in the armchair while I sat on the sofa. She asked me a bunch of questions (can’t quite remember all of them) but I remember telling her about Void, Minnie and Guardian. She interpreted them as me hearing voices, I never thought of it like that but they do talk to me as if they are different people instead of a part of me. I don’t know it doesn’t really make sense to me.

In the end she gave me two options; to have a dose of diazepam and a visit from the crisis team later in  the day or to be admitted to a psychiatric ward outside of town since there are currently no beds in the hospital I went to in my area. I didn’t trust myself to make decisions so I got my dad to discuss the options with the  psychiatrist. I was given a dose of diazepam and sent home to wait for the crisis team to come and visit me. When I got home I went to bed as I hadn’t been to sleep all night.

I think that’s where I’m going to leave it for now, the diazepam is wearing off and I’m getting rather upset again. Don’t worry though I’m going to sit with my mum so I’m not alone.




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