While a lot of days for me mainly involve trying to escape reality, self harm and a whole lot of thinking. On the odd occasion I have a day where I am able to be productive and maintain a good mood throughout the day. On these days I like to do the tasks that I had put off on my bad days. Today has been one of those days.
I woke up watched videos of my favourite youtuber, fantasized about meeting him; him falling in love with me and us living happily ever after… (ahem, don’t judge me) Then went to work for a couple of hours before heading home, cleaning my room, sorting through emails and organising my photos for my portfolio.
These are tasks that I was meant to do weeks ago but didn’t even want to think about them because doing them seemed so daunting and difficult, if I tried to do them I would break down in tears or get really frustrated because I can’t do the task properly and believe I suck at life.
Today I feel really good though, I have managed to do so much and I am proud of myself. I feel like I could do anything I want but I’m trying to calm myself down now, If I do too much I’ll probably overwhelm myself. Hopefully tomorrow will be another “I can” day. I love days like this where I feel like I am a functional human being.
Song of the day:
Brave by Sara Bareilles