Self-love seems so easy. Just accept who you are and love yourself. That is what everyone says. As if everybody was trying to convince themselves that having insecurities is a sin.
I don’t often share other people’s posts but this one inspired me to post today even though I had no plans to. The post talks about learning to love yourself not being as easy as people say and I completely agree.
I have some very self destructive behaviours such as taking things way too personally and self harming. The main reason I think is that I have high expectations of myself. I’m not exactly a perfectionist but I can be quite controlling and set unrealistic goals for myself such as getting my grade E up to a B in the final term of the year or never missing a day of blogging or writing.
When I fail to meet that goal my self destructive behaviours and thought patterns arise. Self harming, self- deprecating and isolating myself. This leads me on to a path where I see no point in carrying on with what I am doing, such as college, work and practically every aspect of my life because I believe that I let myself and others down and there is no getting back up.
This self destruction has caused me to quit college, quit my dream of being a performer and give up on writing projects. Its even starting to make me want to give up my blog and my job because I am so self critical about everything I do but I am trying, I’m trying not to let my own mind get the better of me, keep going and not be so hard on myself.
Step by Step
Day by Day
Then maybe in the future I’ll finally be able to accept myself for who I am.
Song of the day: Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne