When I was about 11 or 12 I was really into the idea of becoming a journalist. I would take a notebook with me everywhere I went so I could do interviews and make notes of events for articles (I don’t remember actually writing any articles though) I would read newspapers and watch the news to learn from professionals, The profession was really exciting to me. The news would be on as I was getting ready for school every morning so information was always streaming into my ears even if I wasn’t watching it.
However as part of my nature I have a lot of empathy so learning of some really horrid things on the news would get to me. Especially when I first had depression and Anxiety at age 14. By then the idea of becoming a journalist was dead to me and no longer paid attention to the news because of how bad it would make me feel, my depression would make me wonder why I live in a world where horrible things happen and my anxiety would make me fear getting killed or mugged by some random person.
To this day I avoid the news like the plague but now I am on the internet a lot so really big events would always come to my attention somehow. Also in college I took Journalism as a replacement for Psychology which meant I had to do extensive research into events for coursework and that was not exactly easy for me, some news images still haunt me and sometimes they make me feel sick out of disgust that people would do such nasty things to others and fear that one day myself or someone I love could be a victim to these people.
I remember there was a shooting near where one of my friends lived a couple of years ago and I was so scared for her life that I rung her to check she was okay. Forgetting that if she were a victim the news would report it and they hadn’t but I still panicked.
I did try and make a group on facebook that was dedicated to sharing good news instead of bad earlier this year,it did help for a while because it encouraged me to look at reports of people doing good to restore my own and other people’s faith in humanity but then my depression got worse and I gave up on it. I gave up on a lot of things because of my depression.
Song if the day: Call Me When You’re Sober by Evanescence