DepressionDiaries: Panic Attack

* This post goes into detail about a panic attack. If you have panic attacks or an anxiety disorder I suggest you don’t read this as it could be triggering. You Have Been Warned.

 

Earlier today I was in a fast food place with some friends we were having a fun time until a man came in and made direct eye contact with me, sat at the table on the side nearest to me and started talking. I think he may have been on drugs or alcohol but he smelled like the man who had sexually harassed me a couple months ago, looked nothing like him but smelled like him. Suddenly I was brought back to that time, worrying that the past was going to repeat itself on me.

Before I knew it, I was hyperventilating, my friends were asking me what was happening and if I was okay but I couldn’t answer them, instead I ran out outside, struggling to breathe, I ended up on my hands and knees heaving and hacking because I felt like I was going to be sick and for some reason, I started hitting the concrete floor (luckily I didn’t break anything) but I didn’t feel any pain in my hand until the panic attack was over. I was in tears, my friends came running out after me and two of them making sure no one got too close and trying to contact someone who could help while the other one tried to get me to focus on them, it worked eventually and I hugged him to feel safe and was like that for quite sometime.

Afterwards I was still shaking and my brain wasn’t focusing properly. My friends and I went to the arcade afterwards, I’m glad they were with me otherwise I think the panic attack would have been a lot worse. I believe that these three guys may be the greatest friends I ever had (not even an exaggeration) they contacted me when I got home to make sure I was okay.

I have a massive headache now after all that, apart from the whole panic attack thing today has been a good day.

NI2M

Song of the day:  The Monster by Eminem ft. Rihanna

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