DepressionDiaries: I Need Help (Please Help Me)

I hoped I would never have to make a post like this but I do so here it goes. I need help my suicidal thoughts have been worse I just don’t think my life is worth living and I am nothing special.

Over the past few days I have not been myself, my thoughts have been plagued with suicidal intent and my depression has such a power over me that I feel I can’t communicate my feelings. I’ve even gone as far as planning my suicide, none of my family or friends know of my plan and this is the only place I feel I can write down my true feelings because it’s anonymous.

In my previous post I wrote about how the month of March was a curse for me and those closest to me. What I didn’t mention however is that I plan to end my life in that month of next year to “end the curse”

I don’t truly want to kill myself but I feel that there is no other option and I may do it sooner than March the way I’m going. I can’t trust myself, I don’t feel in control, I don’t want to kill myself but I feel like I have to like it would be better for everyone if I just died.

What’s wrong with me? What do I do? Please, if you can, help me!

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12 thoughts on “DepressionDiaries: I Need Help (Please Help Me)

  1. sweety5225 says:

    Hello I’d like to say thank you for reaching out for help. I was in your shoes sort of speaking. I was having suicidal thoughts daily, looking up suicide online etc. What I didn’t do was ask for help. Don’t follow in my footsteps ok? My doctor ended baker acting me to which I became angry with him. I didn’t want to be in the hospital ward. However, I re a list now that was the safest place. After being discharged from the hospital they sent me for partial hospitalization program 6 hours a day five days a week. We had 4 group sessions plus catered lunch which was great food. The people like me were very supportive of everyone. It felt right and I’m glad that I’m going. Please try this program. Ask your psy dr. To refer you ok? Don’t think these feelings you have will last cause they won’t. Life is ever changing and it will get better I know. Sometimes we have to fall down before we really ask for assistance. You are valuable and would be missed deeply I’m sure. Please at least think of an alternate method to ease your pain. Once the pain is uncovered you will be in a better frame of mind. God bless you

    Liked by 1 person

      • sweety5225 says:

        Your welcome honey as I guess you a young girl. We can’t allow our emotions to ruin our lives. Let’s help each other get through this. I’m having a difficult time with knowing either I voluntarily go admit myself to hospital or I live on the streets until I get my disability check on 3rd of June. What a choice. I am trying to think this through and I know I won’t make it out in the hot weather or getting killed by a stranger. I’m scared but I must not give up. Neither should you ok?

        Liked by 1 person

  2. BecomingKaitlyn says:

    You are worth it and I know it seems absolutely so hard to see it now but give it time. I know the whole “it gets better” thing is overdone. But it does get better, but then sometimes it’s just as hard but you have to keep something inside yourself to survive and be hopeful. From the few moments I’ve talked to you from the comments just a bit ago you are so kind, thoughtful and caring. I will miss you. Like yes, life sucks and is awful sometimes but it’s ok. You are important and you matter more then anything <3<3

    Liked by 1 person

  3. nouae says:

    I’m glad you decided to get help… Keep going even though it’s hard. If I’d have given in to some of my more harmful thoughts in the past, I would have missed out on some amazing experiences I’ve had more recently.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ahmedjabaifitness says:

    Email me asap! I have gone through depression as well. If you do not want to discuss your issue then feel free to visit my blog posts discussing overcoming depression. Ive gone through depression, social anxiety, and eating disorders. Know that you are not alone, and know that the battle is not impossible to win 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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