DepressionDiaries: Frustration…

Last night was awful, I was crying more than ever and my depression had me on the brink of destroying myself, literally.

My manager had done my nails for  me using some very strong varnish that if I would try to peel it off it would break my nail off. I was so frustrated that I really wanted to scratch the varnish off in order to tear my nails off, luckily I didn’t do that.

Instead however I grabbed a pair of scissors and cut my hair short. My hair was really irritating and felt disgusting on my head so I cut it. I think I did a pretty good job actually, it looks good, needs neatening up by a professional hairdresser though. I feel my head is lighter now that my hair is shorter.

Didn’t really help my emotional state though, I was still frustrated to the point that I started repeatedly banging my head against a wall. I’m not sure what triggered this annoyance and urge to tear my body apart.

I’m so exhausted right now, I think I may just eat something and go back to sleep.

NI2M

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6 thoughts on “DepressionDiaries: Frustration…

    • normalistoomainstream says:

      Thank you that is very kind of you xx I have been very frustrated at work and other places. Problem is I’ve been bottling it all up and I think yesterday I’d had enough and started taking my anger out on myself

      Like

  1. beccadoeslifethings says:

    Sometimes there’s no real trigger other than small little things building up until your mind an’t take it any more and releases it all at once. At least that’s what I find anyway. I hope you feel better soon, stay strong and remember there are people you can talk to 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cuking Frazy says:

    Sweetie, I’ve been reading your posts regularly. Though I’ve not had enough time to reply or comment, I’ve been worried thinking how you are. So I finally did stay awake and found the time.

    I’ve been where you are, n so I’m dropping this comment to let you know, that people do care about you. And I just hope that it all gets better for you real soon.
    You can talk to me or any of the above commenters. Feel free for that.
    Take care!

    Liked by 1 person

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