Last night was awful, I was crying more than ever and my depression had me on the brink of destroying myself, literally.
My manager had done my nails for me using some very strong varnish that if I would try to peel it off it would break my nail off. I was so frustrated that I really wanted to scratch the varnish off in order to tear my nails off, luckily I didn’t do that.
Instead however I grabbed a pair of scissors and cut my hair short. My hair was really irritating and felt disgusting on my head so I cut it. I think I did a pretty good job actually, it looks good, needs neatening up by a professional hairdresser though. I feel my head is lighter now that my hair is shorter.
Didn’t really help my emotional state though, I was still frustrated to the point that I started repeatedly banging my head against a wall. I’m not sure what triggered this annoyance and urge to tear my body apart.
I’m so exhausted right now, I think I may just eat something and go back to sleep.