DepressionDiaries: Interview Anxiety

I have an interview for one of my college choices in about a week. I’m honestly not looking forward to it, the past week has been rough and I haven’t been able to pick myself up again so I could do something productive. I’m supposed to be working on my portfolio and I had plannedContinue reading “DepressionDiaries: Interview Anxiety”

DepressionDiaries: Small Expectations

Growing up I never really did well in school. I wasn’t the best student but I wasn’t the worst either. I was constantly told by teachers to speed up my writing to pass tests and things and peers always told me that I was dumb or ugly. I started setting the bar higher for myselfContinue reading “DepressionDiaries: Small Expectations”

DepressionDiaries: Way too tired

I hope this works. I’m typing this out on my phone. I’ve just left my grandparents’ house and I am exhausted. I didn’t sleep until 3-4 am last night. I went to have lunch with my dad, I didn’t talk much, I mainly just pierced the lime in my glass with a straw. I didn’tContinue reading “DepressionDiaries: Way too tired”

DepressionDiaries: The hardest question to answer

HOW ARE YOU? if you’re mentally ill, this question and other variations of it are really difficult to answer. I get this sort of question a lot not as an “oh I genuinely care about how you are” Its a more of a small talk question you ask to be polite. People tend not toContinue reading “DepressionDiaries: The hardest question to answer”

DepressionDiaries: New Books!

I went on a trip to St Albans today. It was a long trip, we spent about 5-6 hours there and I was so exhausted than when I got back, I promptly fell asleep (I just woke up) Despite my tiredness it was a good day out; I had a really good meal that I ateContinue reading “DepressionDiaries: New Books!”

DepressionDiaries: Colourful Creations

I didn’t end up going into work today, I was way too tired due to insomnia and possibly my increased dose of fluoxetine. So instead, I did some colouring in. I used my Travel themed colouring book since traveling the world is a big thing for me. They’re not finished (I kept getting side trackedContinue reading “DepressionDiaries: Colourful Creations”

DepressionDiaries: Taking it easy…

Today, I haven’t really done much besides watching youtube videos and colouring in my travel themed adult colouring book but I’m okay with that. After yesterday it’s nice to finally have a calm day. Yesterday, I went to see my doctor about my suicidal thoughts, got my meds dose increased and had a visit fromContinue reading “DepressionDiaries: Taking it easy…”

DepressionDiaries: The Crisis team have been and gone

The two assessors from the crisis team who came over to assess me just left a little while ago. Our session went much better than I had expected. I had my mum with me so she could speak for me when I couldn’t which was pretty much the whole time. When they first arrived IContinue reading “DepressionDiaries: The Crisis team have been and gone”

DepressionDiaries: Crisis team are coming!

I went to see my doctor this morning to see what could be done about my suicidal thoughts. He gave me the option to increase my medication dosage or have a referral to the crisis team. I couldn’t decide, I really didn’t want to increase my medication because I don’t want to become to dependentContinue reading “DepressionDiaries: Crisis team are coming!”

DepressionDiaries: I Need Help (Please Help Me)

I hoped I would never have to make a post like this but I do so here it goes. I need help my suicidal thoughts have been worse I just don’t think my life is worth living and I am nothing special. Over the past few days I have not been myself, my thoughts haveContinue reading “DepressionDiaries: I Need Help (Please Help Me)”

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