DepressionDiaries: I relapsed…

*Warning: This post talks about self harm

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It was about 2am in the morning and I had been thinking about everything I could remember including self harming. I just kept imagining cutting myself and thinking “I really want to cut myself, I know I shouldn’t but I really want to”

Eventually I gave in to temptation, found a set of old keys and scratched my arm twice with them. Today I wore my elastic band on my wrist and twanged it against my skin. Thing is, today has been a good day but I still had self harm on the brain. It’s weird.

Despite this today has been a good day at work and I’m in a good mood but then again I had coffee to wake myself up a bit today so I could just be on a caffeine high right now.

I’ll be going back into work tomorrow even though it’s supposed to be one of my days off so I can make up for lost time after I missed Wednesday.

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NI2M

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