I called in sick to work today because I just did not feel up to it. As soon as I woke up I thought “I’ll give myself another 10 minutes in bed” well, 10 minutes turned to 20, 20 minutes turned to 30 and 30 minutes turned to “I don’t think I’ll go into work today so I can sleep for a few more hours”
I had no motivation to get up and do anything, I just fully woke up half an hour ago. I don’t even have the motivation to get myself some food. I think the best way to describe how I feel today is weighed down.
My depression is making me believe that I can’t handle everything and maybe I can’t, it’s making me feel weighed down to my bed and doesn’t want me to move from it. I’ve been getting headaches and I’ve been getting so tense that my legs start aching as well.
Yet even though my depression doesn’t want me to move, it’s punishing me for not going anywhere by telling me things like “you don’t deserve good food” “you don’t deserve to see your friend tomorrow” “you don’t deserve anything good because you didn’t go into work today”
It sucks, today really sucks. I hope tomorrow is better.