Okay, first of all, I’m really sorry I haven’t been updating my blog lately; I ‘ve had a lot going on due to work and clearing out my room.
Speaking of work I ended up on the brink of tears at work today after dealing with some rather dodgy customers who had little sense of personal space and laughed at the discomfort I was clearly feeling because of them. This had brought back memories of dealing with someone just like this a month ago. I became panicky and went to the third floor where no one was working and sat in one of the rooms to try and calm myself down, my eyes started welling up but I managed to stop myself from sobbing.
I decided that I would not return to the shop floor for the rest of the day after that incident and instead spent some time working on the computer; finding, packaging and dispatching items. The fact that I was working alone and the task was simple but distracting it had calmed me down for a while.
However, when I left work I became very depressed again, I was walking across a car park towards my family car very slowly willing a car to just come and hit me. That obviously didn’t happen though.
I went to see my counsellor after work and he could clearly see that I was having a bad time. He said he is going to refer me to a wellbeing service who will teach me how to deal with stressful situations using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) if this doesn’t work my doctor may have to increase my daily dose of Fluoxetine which I was supposed to stop taking in march but I’m clearly not ready to stop taking my meds.