DepressionDiaries: A rainy day

Today was a miserable day weather wise and emotionally. Today at work we were very short staffed (during the afternoon there was only me and one other volunteer in the shop) two people who were supposed to run the till had to cancel so I had to be on the till for roughly 3 hours while the other volunteer did some clothes sorting upstairs.

The stress of being a young adult with only a certain amount of experience and working alone was immense. I had to take and price donations that could go straight to the shop floor, I had to serve customers as well keep an eye out for those who would steal something and I had to restock the rails and shelves. Doing all these things without help meant I made a few mistakes.

The person who came in to cash up and close up spotted one of my mistakes (I had no idea why it was such a big deal) she said it was all right but she would not shut up about it, I was getting really annoyed and all I wanted to do was go home but first I had to tidy the shop floor, clean the dishes and make sure all the windows were closed.

When I finally got out of there, it was pouring with rain but I didn’t care, in fact the weather reflected my mood at the time… Miserable.

Miserable because I made mistakes

Miserable because I was made to feel bad about one of them (though I still don’t understand what I did wrong)

Miserable because the person didn’t understand that I always try my best to do things right but when I make a mistake, going on about it won’t make me learn it will just upset me and make me confused  because you’re moaning at me instead of teaching me!

I try my best at everything I do but as soon as I make a mistake people forget about the things I’ve done right and mess with me for what I’ve done wrong as if my mistakes define me. I’m so depressed right now, thank goodness I have a day off tomorrow.

rainy-days

 

NI2M

 

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