DepressionDiaries: Addiction to Fiction

Usually addictions are classified as smoking, drinking, self harming e.t.c. Granted I used to be addicted to self harming and I still occasionally do it if I am feeling really low but I don’t think its an addiction for me anymore more like a last resort method to deal with stress.

Now however I realise that I have become addicted to the world of fantasy, I’ve become attached to certain works of fiction such as Undertale and BBC Merlin (even though the show has ended)

I would read fanfiction and come up with scenarios where I would be a part of the characters’ world. I would wish that the characters were real so I could be a part of their lives. With Undertale I’ve been reading comics and watching animations for it. With Merlin I’ve had marathons where I would watch a bunch of episodes in one day, I also watch fan videos for the show on youtube.

I think its because I yearn for adventure and excitement in my life like in the world of undertale and Merlin. I also think its because I want relationships like some of the characters, I would really like a friend who’s as loyal to  me as Merlin is to Arthur but like I said, they’re works of fiction it’s not real and I use them as merely an escape from reality.

I need to face reality instead of trying to forget about and escape from it. I need to change my life to how I want it to be instead of sleeping, watching youtube videos and reading fanfiction all day.




4 thoughts on “DepressionDiaries: Addiction to Fiction

  1. carolineturriff says:

    I had an addiction to fantasy where I was constantly fantasising that I was the Queen of Spain! It got so bad that I couldn’t talk to anyone as I didn’t want to be interrupted from the fantasy. My room was filthy, I didn’t go out in daylight because I thought I was too ugly unlike the tall blonde beautiful Queen of Spain fantasy figure. It sent me almost crazy. When my life became happier I stopped fantasising so much and now I barely fantasise at all. But it’s a dangerous addiction, it can send you crazy, I would work on changing things that you are unhappy with in your life so you don’t need to fantasise so much.

    Liked by 1 person

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